This thunderstorm of thoughts was put on the paper (like literally) in a weak moment at the Stansted Airport.
WARNING – might get a bit personal and some words could sound tiny bit harsh and may offend someone (sorry pussies :D).
This is a story of a desperate girl on her nomadious jorney exploring the Wonders of Loneliness…
And yeah, it is all carried in the spirit of the saying of Ralph Waldo Emerson:
“Nothing can bring you peace, but yourself”.
Let me start with my parents – They are almost nothing alike.
My Dad has always been the one who would be telling you funny stories at family reunions or at his lunch breaks. People love him. He always gets that attention, even though it’s not that common for a misanthrope he often claims to be.
Then, there is my Mum. You know those ladies in their forties – like some of the mothers of yours, who fancy a glass of wine with their friends? Well, that´s not my Mommy. Apart from my Dad, she gets nervous, when talking in front of too many people (even though, once she gets comfortable – she´s brave & marvellous).
And then, there is their Daughter – me Ginger Nomad. I guess, many of you are in a similar situation like me – Dad is very communicative and Mom is rather quiet and shy. But what about their kid? Is it possible to be an extrovert and introvert at the same time? Yes, indeed. As weird as it sounds, that’s me right there.
I know, what most of you are thinking now. Say whaaat? Haha, you are not an introvert at all, Barbora. But what I´ve just realised at this very moment – while waiting for a flight connection for 5 hours so far is… that Holly Crap!- I’m such an introvert and I’m enjoying it like nothing ever! Don´t you feel the same like? The older you get, the more you enjoy the time spend by/with yourself exclusively.
I gotta admit, spending the whole day alone can be SUCH A BLAST. Reading your favourite (or just some random) book, writing down some bullshits and listening to super sexy British accent is way better than having a bad company. I always say, time spent with friends is great, sure, but if I had to choose between traveling alone and with someone telling me about another messy love story of friend of his friends (it already sounds complicated), then it’s pretty clear…
I have many good friends who think I’m a weirdo. Barbora…Why would you go for a walk for hours by yourself? Why would you prefer to go shopping alone or even go for lunch alone? What a loser haha!
You know what I think? People who hate to spend at least few hours per week entirely with their personal (possibly smashing) company are afraid. Afraid of their own thoughts. I can understand that. It happens to me too. When you are just walking around the town or along the coast, what kind of feelings and emotions can it brings up? Most of the times, they are positive. Pretty nature, charming tiny streets, romantic sunset or whatever. But wait, wait.
Suddenly, you start thinking and overthinking. What am I doing with my life, what the fuck have I achieved in 24 years? Am I a good person? Do people like me? Oh, I could keep going to infinity. So, yeah, it is scary to be alone. Because, it’s easier to start analysing everything from relationships to your current money situation. But screw that! Or if you just can get through negative thoughts, choose a company other than human. A book, music or the best A DOG (Adopted daah)!
I just have one suggestion for you; it’s really really really okay to be a loser, an outsider, a dreamer, a weirdo and even an introvert from time to time.
It’s actually the best way to know your own needs and thoughts better.
Promise me to find some time for you only. I don’t want to feed you like ´inside beauty´ cosmetic brands with the shits like we are all beautiful creatures and have to love ourselves first. Just I have the feeling, it’s time to grow up and go offline for a moment. And not only from Facebook and Instagram, from the world!
Are you following me darlings???!!!
Good! Now, try that on my Facebook Fan page too – here. ❤